In honor of Santacon last weekend and my general obsession with all things Christmas, I’ve chosen to recount the Santacon holiday with a Christmas poem. Enjoy —
Twas fifteen days before Christmas, and all through the town
The Santas were prepping, from Queens to downtown.
The bars were all open, and ready to serve,
The hordes of drunk Santas, about to converge.
The streets were still quiet, alarms set to snooze.
While thousands of Santas stocked up on booze.
My roommate still in bed and I but half awake,
Had just started thinking of what breakfast to make.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But thousands of Santas, an elf and reindeer!
The Santas were jolly and rosy with cheer,
With dear old Mrs. Claus bringing up the rear.
They were dressed all in red, from their head to their feet,
And sang carols of Christmas as they marched down the street.
With candy canes in their pockets and flasks in their belts,
Those Santas could make any Grinch’s heart melt.
Then off to the next bar, to the group went a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they stumbled out of sight,
“Happy Santacon to all, and to all a good night!”
